蒋继平
2012年11月19日
最近程代展先生的“昨夜无眠”（1）的博文在科学网上引起了一阵热潮， 大家围绕年轻人在科研和人生道路上的选择展开了激烈的争论。 科学网也号召大家一起加入讨论。 为了响应科学网的建议， 配合科学网的行动， 加上自己心里一直想说但是没有勇气和机会说出来的话， 借此机会， 我也来谈谈在这个问题上的亲身感受。
2012年7月8日， 在经过一些与儿子有关他的未来选择的个人交流后， 儿子给我发了一个电邮。在电邮中，他详细地和坚定地表明了他的个人选择。他说他读博士的唯一理由就是为了父母的面子和使我们感到高兴快乐。 他说他不想在大学中任职， 他学的专业， 电脑科学的博士生只有在大学中任教的唯一选择，企业是不需要电脑科学博士生的， 因而，要想在企业找到合适的工作，读了博士反而没有好处， 很难找到理想的工作。他进而说在以往的经历中， 他 牺牲了个人的兴趣爱好， 为的是满足父母的虚荣心。 当我问他为什么已经通过了博士资格考试， 博士学位几乎就在眼前，还要主动放弃这个机会时，他说这仅是为了证明他有这个能力， 为了不伤我们的感情，但是实在没有必要， 因为拿了博士对他找工作反而没有任何好处。
读了儿子的电邮后， 我感到百感交集。 回想起在以往的生活中对他的“干扰”， 实在有点“过分”。 第一次是要他拒绝IBM （国际商用仪器公司）的聘用合同， 几乎强迫他去读研究生。 他为了给我面子， 勉强地拒绝了IBM 非常优惠的招聘合同。这份合同的待遇相当不错， 比我获得博士学位， 已经工作了8年后，获得三次提升和一次跳槽的工资待遇还要好。 第二次是坚决反对他在美国国家安全局任职，我的理由是他的身份不适合在这样的部门工作。 他被美国国家安全局录用是因为他在安全局全国人才招聘竞赛中获得数学第二名。 总之， 我对他有很多的“要求”。这些要求通常只是从父母的角度来考量的， 也是为了他的前途。
2012年7月15日， 在北京的聚德楼餐馆（在人民大学附近）的一个包厢内， 酒台上某位友人问及我儿子的近况， 我非常激动， 抑制不住内心的冲动， 跟在座的朋友们说了儿子的选择，希望得到朋友们的看法。 当时在酒台上的一共有8位。 招待我的是我在北京的朋友，前中国人民银行行长， 天津市委书记的儿子。 陪客是： 中国国家安全局的一位处长和她的女儿， 来自河南某大学某院系的一位书记，一位北京某私人企业的总裁（也是我的结拜兄弟）， 我朋友的女朋友； 还有我的美国老板， 和我自己。 我的美国老板听了我的英语说明后， 他当场发表了他的看法。 他认为我儿子的选择是正确的， 是符合美国国情的， 应该得到支持， 不应该反对。 我当场就感到这就是中美两国在文化背景上的明显不同的地方。 我想各位看官也可体会到这点。
我本来就是一个很开通的人， 听了美国老板的劝说， 更加觉得没有必要为了一个博士学位的名头， 跟儿子过不去。 自此以后， 心头的烦扰也就慢慢地消失了。
为了使我的说明更有实质内容， 我把儿子的电邮原封不动地照登在此， 不过，很抱歉地说， 我没有将其全部翻译出来， 一方面是因为有些是相当隐私的东西， 另一方面， 其相关的内容已经为大家翻出来了，那些红体字部分就是我的翻译。
Dear Dad,
First
of all, thank you very much for your words of advice. It means a lot
to hear from you and I value your input immensely. I also appreciate
that you recognize that I should choose for my own future.
I
know that you sacrificed much to get your PhD and I have great respect
for what you accomplished despite having poor hearing, even in a foreign
country. There are very few people who could have done what you did,
and I feel that for you this degree is a true, true honor. As for
thinking about the far future, and not being near-sighted, I have
actually been near-sighted for far too long. The fact is that the only reason I chose to pursue my PhD is to honor you and Mom and to make you happy（事实上，我读博士的唯一理由就是为了您和母亲的面子，使你们开心快乐）.
For a long time this was enough to keep me going, I thought in the
short-term and believed that I could just keep doing this because I
would just suffer a little bit more and could keep everybody happy: me,
my friends, and my family.
Let
me tell you that to achieve something I want I have no problem with
sacrifice. If there is something that I want to target I am willing to
sacrifice a great deal, and struggle through much adversity to get it.
The problem is that I don't want a PhD. A PhD in CS, in America, will
only allow me to go into academia. No other job that I am qualified for
requires it, or even wants this degree. Some companies actively
discourage having a PhD because it attracts theoretical people and not
people who are good practically. This is different for CS, in things
like biology like you studied PhD are highly useful in many areas, so I
understand why you see great value in it. I do not want to go into
academia, I know it would be a very unpleasant life for me, my mentality
is not compatible with it. For me to struggle for a good goal is fine
with me, but for me to struggle to get a meaningless goal just for the
title "Dr" is a very difficult choice to make for me. Until now I have
been open to try to get it so that I can make you happy, but if I wait
too much longer, my lack of experience and my older age will make me an
unattractive job candidate in the sort of work I want to do. I don't
have too much time if I actually want a job that is non-academic, so I
am very sorry, but I have to think in the long term and do what is best
for myself. I hope that in the long term I can also make you happy.
This
is not, practically speaking, a difficult decision to make. This job
is actually perfect for me. You know that I have had many internships
and tried many different things. I have tried working at research labs,
at large corporations, at small businesses, at government agencies. I
have in fact tried working in each of the environments that are
potentially viable for my line of work. This job is ten times better
than anything I've ever had before, and it is hands down the right
choice. I have felt healthier and happier here than I ever have at any
point in the last 4 years. I don't really care about money, as long as I
have enough to live on it is enough for me. My only regret is that I
have to disappoint you in the process, and I hope that you can forgive
me（实事求是地说， 这不是一个很难的决定。这个工作对我来说是完美的。您知道我做过许多实习生的工作， 尝试过许多不同的事务。我曾经在实验室， 大公司， 小型企业和政府部门工作过。我试着找到最适合我个性的环境。这份工作10倍好于我以前做过的任何职位， 是正确的选择。跟以往4年的经历相比，我现在感到更加健康和快乐。我不在乎钱，只要有足够的能够保持生存所需就行了。我唯一感到内疚的是使你们感到不高兴， 希望你们原谅）。
Thank you for being supportive of me, and I hope that I can show you that I made a good decision in the future.
Love,
Karl
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